Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

Today I heard the most wonderful news, my prayers had been answered and I though that rest of my day would feel like I was sitting in chair made of clouds that was surrounded by kittens to nibble at my feet. That’s right, that Zelda from Terrahawks faced, sycophantic silly bitch that has tortured my weekday mornings, Jo Whiley has been removed from her morning slot on Radio 1. No longer will I have to listen to her get so far up some band’s arse she needs a snorkel, go on and on about how amazing some new tune is and then slag them all off when it’s no longer cool. That’s right fuck off grandma; let someone actually new, exciting and funny be on the BBC’s groovy and happening radio station that the kids all like.

So Auntie who’s the replacement? Some one that represents Britain’s young in the modern digital age? Someone that is down with it, but also eloquent and witty? No. It’s Fearne fucking Cotton. I hate to use this phrase, but talk about from frying pan into the fire. I had the misfortune to have to listen to her all the way home in the car while travelling home from North of England on Sunday. During this journey I was very seriously contemplated asking Miss Rant to rip my ears off and stuff them up my arse so that I would no longer have to her inane drivel. I know that you might suggest that I changed the channel, but that would have meant local radio, and there’s only so many times you can hear someone bleat on about the wheelie bin problem.

Anyhoo, in mild celebration of the Whiley’s demise, here is Lily Allen giving Jo what for in the only way she knows how. I liked Lily before I saw this, and now I love her so much I would happily crawl through a barrel full broken glass just pick the peanuts out of her shit.

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